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The Dilbert Blog: Worst Job Ever

August 10, 2006
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[This is absolutely brilliant! AND Laugh out loud funny! Who could ask for anything more??? “Worst Job Ever” I took that two different ways, one worthy of blame, and one worthy of sympathy (yet, at the same time as co-dependent…. {cough cough})] Scott Adams rights the following:

How would you like to be Condi Rice? It’s your job to stop the fighting in Lebanon. That’s one super-crappy job. Luckily for her, I’m here to help.

It’s a strange little war in the sense that neither side can win, and they both know it. Hizbollah can’t destroy Israel and Israel can’t destroy Hizbollah. And neither side can afford to give up. So in the meantime, since no one can win or lose, they settle for killing as many random civilians as possible because that’s one thing they can do. The thinking, I gather, is that killing random people and never winning is still better than doing nothing and looking weak.

I see this as part of a trend. The U.S. couldn’t kill Osama, so we whacked Saddam instead. Maybe all future wars will be fought by killing whoever does the worst job of hiding and also kind of sucks. That way you appear tough in the eyes of the world. And let’s face it – that’s the whole point. If you can’t defeat your actual enemy, at least kick the crap out of some a-hole that desperately deserves it. It’s better than doing nothing.

So I developed my own peace plan. It’s not a total solution, but that’s no knock against it since we all agree that no solution exists, and it’s better to do something than nothing. So really we’re only talking about choosing the best alternative from the subset of doomed, turd-brained notions.

In my plan, Israel and Hizbollah select a defenseless third country that has bad P.R. and then they bomb the piss out of it instead of each other. Maybe one of the little countries that sounds like what you yell when you zip your fly before retracting your hose. I’m fairly sure that EEEYOWAZAMBONI is a country.

Go read his peace plan, it defintely has merit, and as Scott writes near the end:
“It’s stupid, but again, not THAT much worse than the current method.”

The Dilbert Blog: Worst Job Ever


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